>>46295
Getting good enough at drawing to be "of value" to me would probably take anyone who starts out fresh a couple of years if not more. So yeah, I doubt I can convert any of my existing friends to fill that role. I just wish I didn't have such immense repressions about putting myself out there and meeting other people. I should just go to places where other artists gather and put myself out there or even actively ask people to talk to me. Just thinking about that makes me feel really awkward though.
I mean, I'm totally fine with people doing whatever they want and pursuing their own interests. It's good to see that we still get along despite there not being any obvious ties in our interest that keep us together. It's just that I don't think it would be healthy for me to keep on going on like I am now, as it is a rather severe detriment to my life. So to fix that, I do need people that share my interests.
I'm sorry that I made you feel stupid. I certainly don't see you that way. I've never looked at any of my friends and thought that they were stupid or less intelligent than I am. It's completely baffling to me that I seem to have this air about me that makes people immediately think that I'm somehow super smart or whatever. I don't know where it comes from, and it pisses me off constantly, if I have to be honest. I imagine that it's also part of why people seem to have difficulty approaching it, so it definitely doesn't help with my own struggles to meet new people. Anyway– what I appreciate in people is their willingness to just hang out and be aloof about things. There's way too many stuck up people that can't take any jokes out there. I'm not sure I need any reason beyond that to be friends with people. Being able to hang out together is kind of the thing that defines friends for me.